Dirty Little Secret
by Sanna
Summary: Quinn Fabray was exactly Jesse's type – beautiful but broken.
1. Chapter 1

**DIRTY LITTLE SECRET**

**Chapter One: Hell-O**

It was lunch time and Quinn was in the cafeteria, sitting with Mercedes, Kurt, Tina and Artie. Ever since word had gotten out that she was pregnant, Quinn was no longer eligible to sit at the "cool kids" table. Rarely did Quinn have the appetite to eat in front of a whole crowd of kids staring at her, but when she did, she was thankful she could sit with her friends from Glee. A loser was less of a loser when she had other loser friends.

From the corner of her eye, she could see Finn storm into the cafeteria, scanning the room until his eyes landed on their table. For a few moments, Quinn wondered and hoped he was coming for her. Maybe he had dumped Santana and Brittany the way he had dumped Rachel, realizing that he and Quinn were truly meant to be, despite her carrying Puck's bastard child.

His eyes locked with hers and Quinn noticed that Finn slowed down considerably. His eyes were full of an emotion that Quinn couldn't quite identify. Was it longing? Perhaps loathing? Quinn watched Finn until he broke eye contact with her the moment he reached their table.

Finn turned to Mercedes. "We have a problem. Rachel is dating Jesse St. James."

"How is that my problem? You're the one who dumped her for a chance with two Cheerios."

Finn glowered. "Jesse St. James is the lead singer of Vocal Adrenalin."

At this, Mercedes, Kurt, Tina and Artie gasped. They all stood up from their seats at the table, except for Artie because he couldn't. Tina had placed her two hands down on the table in exclamation, while Kurt was waving his arms around in the air. Quinn might have watched them and have found it mildly amusing had she been looking at them. However, her eyes were still trained on her ex who was looking so painfully tragic. Maybe he had been taking up drama lessons from Kurt.

"But Vocal Adrenalin is the team to beat at Regionals!"

"What's Rachel doing fraternizing with the enemy?"

"I bet he's a spy trying to sabotage us!"

"What if she leaves us for them?"

While the rest of her teammates were panicking, Quinn remained silent. None of them noticed. She wasn't sure if they were just used to her being so quiet all of the time ever since her life had changed for the worst, or if they were just so self absorbed in their current issue.

Jesse St. James. Why was that name so familiar? It couldn't possibly be because he was the lead singer of Vocal Adrenalin. Prior to joining New Directions, Quinn hadn't been interested at all in the music scene, let alone be a fan enough to know the top talent. He obviously didn't go to this school, and even if he did, Quinn didn't usually bother knowing people's names unless they were someone worthy of knowing. The question nagged at Quinn and she knew she wasn't going to be able to concentrate on anything until she figured out the answer.

"I told you we have a problem. You need to talk to her. She won't listen to me!"

"I propose we confront her in the choir room before practice," Kurt suggested.

"If all of us were there, Rachel would have no choice but to listen to us," Artie reasoned.

"Count me out," Finn said, "She'll only think I'm biased. I'll leave this to you guys."

"I'm out too," Quinn finally spoke. "Rachel might think I'm only doing this for revenge." Upon hearing her voice, Finn's eyes finally returned to meet Quinn's. The eyeball exchange between the two of them was intense, and the conversation around them slowly started to die out. Or maybe Quinn had just tuned them out as she focused on Finn, she wasn't sure.

"Uhh, so it's agreed? Kurt, Tina, Artie and I will meet Rachel at the choir room immediately after last period. We'll talk to her before practice starts," Mercedes said, looking around the table.

The others murmured their agreement, but Quinn kept her eyes locked onto Finn's.

Suddenly, Finn looked uncomfortable and mumbled his thanks before backing out of the cafeteria. Quinn felt someone - maybe Tina or Mercedes, despite all of his products, Kurt's hand wouldn't felt this feminine - place a hand over hers in consolation.

"I- I need to go," Quinn said abruptly, quickly fleeing the group. Dealing with being a loser and sitting at the loser table was one thing, but Quinn couldn't handle their pity.

Before any tears could fall, Quinn rushed to a rarely used comfort room on the third floor. She had become a frequent visitor to this room - not wanting anyone to see her during her weakest moments. This was the room where Quinn experienced her morning sickness pains, where she cried when the emotion was too much for her to bear. No one had the chance to see the fallen queen bee when she was most vulnerable when she was within the safety of these walls.

Quinn hated feeling weak. She hated how she could no longer control her feelings. She missed having the ability to manipulate the feelings of others as opposed to just her own. She could no longer make Finn happy with a single smile, or make random people feel blessed to have passed her in the hallway, she could no longer have her parents proud of having such a morally upright daughter. In the same manner, she could no longer crush Rachel's hopes about being with Finn, no longer terrify the losers with a coverless slushy cup and a determined look on her face, no longer able to silence the Cheerios with a single look.

Looking into the mirror, Quinn dried her eyes and splashed some water on her face. She reapplied her make-up carefully before checking the time. Ten more minutes before the second bell rang signaling the end of lunch period. Quinn needed to get to her next class on time, she really didn't want her classmates to poke fun that she needed extra time just to get around.

What a miserable existence her life had come to.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm back and this time with a multi-chapter fic! I've pretty much written the whole story (total of six chapters) because I have a problem with not finishing things I started, so I wanted to post the first chapter only after I had finished everything. I'm still rereading everything and working out some kinks, so I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the story as we go along.

Speaking of feedback, I would just like to say that this website - www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/tv/Glee/10/0/0/1/0/42435/23374/0/0/1/ is my current drug. I believe I check this at least twice a day for any updates. I'm so happy to see that there are already 22 St. Fabray stories posted! I am a firm believer that the number of Comments don't determine how good the story is, but I do recommend you to go out and read all 22 stories and comment on all the stories! More comments inspire writers to write, and more inspired writers mean more St. Fabray fics!


	2. Chapter 2

**DIRTY LITTLE SECRET**

**Chapter Two: The Power of Madonna**

_If you want it / You've already got it / If you thought it / It better be what you want  
If you feel it / It must be real just / Say the word and / I'm gonna give you what you want  
Time is waiting / We only got four minutes to save the world / No hesitating / Grab a boy, go grab your girl  
Time is waiting / We only got four minutes to save the world / No hesitating / We only got four minutes huh four minutes_

From her seat in the bleachers, Quinn was delighted with how the cheer rally was turning out. She had been reluctant to watch her former squad perform and delight the school without her. Quinn didn't miss being part of the Cheerios with Coach Sylvester breathing down their necks and bullying them into feeling bad about their already fabulous body sizes. However, Quinn missed being part of the action, being the center of attention of a cheering crowd. She missed being on top of the pyramid, smiling down on everyone from her spot.

However, cheer rallies were mandatory gym class events. Coach Sylvester did this to ensure a huge crowd for her Cheerios. An absence would result to a lower grade - something that Quinn couldn't afford, especially now that she could barely participate in gym class due to her condition. So there she sat, beside Puck who was ogling the cheerleaders, oblivious to any hurt feelings his baby mama might have been experiencing as a result. Quinn was almost certain she was ready to give up her baby. She didn't think she could handle a baby who would inherit Puck's stupidity and insensitivity.

Quinn had watched enviously as Santana took her center spot in the cheer formation. How was it that she was getting all that Quinn had worked so hard for? Quinn could see Puck's eyes trained on her exposed flat stomach and had seethed inwardly.

Then the music had begun. Quinn saw Kurt and Mercedes almost as soon as she had heard them begin to sing. The crowd began to rock to the music and cheer in approval of her two teammates. Kurt and Mercedes were decked out in Cheerios standard uniform with the addition of sweatpants but they looked even cooler as they danced in front of the cheerleaders, making the crowd go wild. A wide grin crept up Quinn's face. She loved how they had stolen the limelight from the cheerleaders. She felt vindicated as she lived vicariously through her glee teammates.

_That's right keep it up keep it up / Don't be a prima donna / You gotta get em a heart / Tick tock tick tock tick tock_

Quinn looked down at the crowd and could see that Mr. Schue was upset, and so was Rachel - for completely different reasons of course. She looked past Rachel and saw that her new boyfriend, Jesse, was staring at her again. Quinn eyed him back before he grinned cockily and then turned back to Rachel. An uneasy feeling ran through Quinn.

She had caught him staring at her several times since he had transferred to McKinley High. Mr. Schue had brought him to Glee practice earlier that week and introduced him as the club's newest member and a recent transferee to McKinley. While Finn, Kurt, Mercedes, Santana and Artie had each voiced out their concerns and frustrations with the situation, Quinn laid her eyes on Jesse St. James and realized it was not the first time they had met.

Quinn had looked around the room to share her discovery with someone but realized no one from the Glee club had been part of the particular circle of friends that Quinn had been with the first time she encountered Jesse. She kept the information to herself and pretended she didn't know him. It wasn't hard since Quinn had never been on friendly terms with Rachel and was never given the opportunity to actually talk to him. Quinn wasn't sure if he remembered who she was since he acted like he was meeting her for the first time as well - except for the fact that she always caught Jesse staring at her.

Before she knew it, the cheer rally was over. Puck told her he needed to talk to Coach Tanaka for awhile and that he would meet her by his car in twenty minutes to head on home. At the same time, Quinn realized she needed to go on a bathroom break and the nearest one was right there inside the gym. There were hardly any people in the restroom as the restrooms in the gym were far from being the cleanest. Quinn was probably the only one who needed to go more badly than she needed a clean bathroom.

After she was done, Quinn stepped back into the gym and saw that most students had cleared out already. There were a handful of people left in the gym, none of whom Quinn recognized other than Jesse who was fooling around with a basketball in his hands. Puck and Rachel were nowhere in sight, but Quinn knew the exact moment when Jesse had seen her and slowly she had walked over while he made an unsuccessful shot into a nearby basketball ring.

"I don't believe I've ever seen a singer be good at sports. However, cheerleaders, even former cheerleaders like myself, are a different story." Quinn took the basketball from him, aimed and shot the ball. It hit the ring, rolled around once before dropping in.

Jesse smirked and ran over to catch the ball. "That may be true, however, I do believe ballet dancers are even more athletic, given all the leaping, catching and carrying that we do in our dances," Jesse said. He took a step back, leapt into the air before letting the ball go. It dropped in neatly without even touching the ring this time.

Quinn crossed her arms in front of her chest, as well as she could with her baby bump getting in the way, and stared him down. She was not impressed by his showmanship.

"You're from the Glee club, correct? I do believe I've caught you staring at me on several occasions. Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Jesse St. James."

"I've caught you staring as well and I know exactly who you are." Quinn exchanged a narrow look with Jesse. "You were my friend Sydney Rutledge's date to the Midwest Chastity Ball last year."

"Why, yes I was. You were there at that event, too?"

Quinn ignored him. "You caused quite a commotion that night, everyone was talking about it. Even though you were Sydney's date, you had slept with her best friend, Mila Rosnovsky, the night before the ball. Mila's reputation was ruined and Sydney was devastated and inconsolable."

Of all the reactions Quinn expected from Jesse, she hadn't been expecting him to laugh out loud. "Ahh yes. Mila, dear sweet Mila. She was quite the innocent, very hard to seduce. I had actually been trying to seduce her for several weeks - I was cutting it close with the night before the ball. Her boyfriend dumped her the night of the ball, correct?"

"I can't believe this!"Quinn cried. "You're actually proud about it? You're an even bigger jerk than I imagined!"

But Jesse chuckled before walking closer to Quinn. Her heart beat faster at the thought of being around someone so dangerously cruel. He leaned down closer to her and said in an almost whisper, "Would you believe it if I told you that Sydney had arranged for me to seduce Mila before the ball? She had her eyes set on Mila's boyfriend, Garrett Booth, and wanted it arranged so that Garrett would never go back to Mila again."

Quinn's eyes widened. This was the first time she was hearing this, but Jesse's words had clicked in her brain. She recalled that Sydney and Garrett had quite the tangled history. Their parents had never approved of them dating each other due to a family feud, and after many arguments, Garrett had finally left Sydney for Mila. Quinn thought Sydney had gotten over Garrett when she met Jesse and asked him to be her date to the Chastity ball, but looking back, she did recall that Garrett had walked straight into Sydney's arms for comfort. Quinn wasn't too sure what happened after that. She had lost touch with Sydney when her parents had kicked her out of the house. They had been part of the Midwest Chastity ball for a reason.

Sydney and Quinn were a lot alike, which is why they got along so well when they were put together on the Charity ball committee. They were at the top of the high school food chain, they knew what they wanted and knew how to get what they wanted. It began to occur to Quinn that Mila's scandal had broken out at exactly the right moment at the ball to create the biggest fuss - maybe it had been all planned out. But, as Quinn thought and her eyes narrowing, Jesse was evil and manipulative. She shouldn't put it past him to try and twist history to make her question her friend.

"I don't believe you."

"No one ever believes the bad boy." Jesse said this with such a knowing smirk that while Quinn recognized the danger of being in such close proximity with him, her adrenalin was rushing through her veins, making her imagine all sorts of violent endings for him.

Quinn looked long and hard at Jesse. "I'm telling Rachel about this. She should know exactly what she's getting into in this relationship. She may see it as all Romeo and Juliet romantic, but you're really the villain of the story here, seducing innocents and probably trying to crush competing choir groups along the way!"

The cool exterior that he had exuded had finally broken and Jesse grabbed Quinn by the shoulder a little roughly. "You are not ruining my relationship with Rachel with your lies and exaggerations." Seeing her wince, Jesse loosened his grip on her. "Besides, she won't take your word for it even if you try. From what I hear, you and Rachel have never been on good terms with each other. Prior to your fall from grace, you made it your personal business to make her life miserable. Further, she took away your boyfriend -the same boy whom you lied to was the father of your baby." Jesse looked down at her smugly as he began to relax. "Let's see who Rachel sees as the liar now."

Quinn's fists balled up as the urge to punch Jesse grew stronger. His cocky attitude was infuriating. Not to mention that he dared bruise her shoulders with his rough manner. In her condition, the bruises probably wouldn't fade for months. But Jesse's words began to sink in and she knew it was true. Finally, Quinn spoke.

"Don't hurt her. She trusts people easily and isn't used to people as ruthless as you—"

"Or yourself. Let's not forget your cruel streak."

"Or me," Quinn said, gritting her teeth together. "I admit that I don't really like, Rachel. None of us in the Glee club really do. However, she is our star and we'd be lost without her to prod us on. Rachel is one of us and only we get to humiliate her."

Jesse smiled that cocky smile of his Quinn had quickly learned to hate. "You forget, I am one of you now. I'm now a member of New Directions, plus I'm an even bigger star." Jesse looked down at his watch. "I believe Rachel should be done with her session Ms. Pillsbury. I need to go and meet her. Now, it was nice meeting you again, Quinn. I'll see you around." He faked a gentleman's bow, turned around and gave her a wave of his hand.

Quinn was really starting to hate that guy.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm back! This is a quicker update than normal because the first chapter just lacked Jesse and that was wrong. I hope you're enjoying the story so far.

Sydney, Garrett and Mila are characters taken from a childhood favorite soap of mine, Swans Crossing. Let's just pretend the two towns are near each other in the midwest. If I were completely canon, these characters would be in their late twenties by now. Since they're such dear characters of mine, I allowed them to crossover a little. Just a cameo really.

Don't forget to leave your feedback!


	3. Chapter 3

**DIRTY LITTLE SECRET**

**Chapter Three: Home – Part One**

Although Quinn had sinned – she had committed a sin so bad that her physical appearance was suffering for it in the form of her baby bump – Quinn still enjoyed going to mass every Sunday. For obvious reasons, she could no longer attend mass in the church that she used to go to regularly with her parents. Not that she wanted to see them either, it was just that it happened to be the church she had gone to for almost her whole life. Unfortunately, since Puck and his family were Jewish, Quinn was left by her lonesome to attend mass at a church within walking distance from Puck's house.

It was only five blocks away and Quinn enjoyed the brisk walk. Quinn preferred to get to the church early and leave late, not because she was as ultra religious as her parents pretended to be, but it helped her avoid the stares and accusing faces of the other people in the room. Quinn had no illusions that her fellow Catholics were more caring and considerate than they were conservative. The disapproving looks that they gave her were just as bad as the haughty looks she received from school. Quinn sat up front in order to avoid those looks and thankfully the priests were as forgiving as they preached the Lord to be.

The ceremony was going to begin in five minutes and Quinn was enjoying the tranquility. She didn't have to listen to Puck talk endlessly about how cool it was that he had discovered a hidden level in one of his video games, or heard his sister and mother converse with each other by shouting from different rooms. Quinn closed her eyes as she listened to the choir tune their instruments.

"Quinn Fabray. Why, you must be stalking me."

Quinn's eyes flew open as she recognized Jesse's voice. She looked up at the curly haired boy who was about to take a seat beside her on the bench. "Jesse," she hissed, trying to avoid calling attention to them. "What are you doing here?"

He sat down and calmly put his hands together on his lap. "I came for the gospel music, my uncle recommended this church to me as having the best choir for a nine in the morning mass. Granted, they probably aren't as good as me, but listening to choirs sing gospel music inspires me and reenergizes me for the grueling week ahead."

Quinn opened her mouth to retort, but just then they were all asked to stand to begin the mass. Quinn did her best to ignore him during the one hour ceremony, however she was consciously aware of where he sat and jumped every time his arm brushed hers. She did however enjoy listening him sing along with the choir for the mass songs. He had an amazing voice, and somehow he seemed innocent even as he sang songs about goodness and trust in the Lord.

During the Lord's Prayer, everyone in the congregation joined hands and lifted them up but Quinn resolutely kept hers at her side. However, like any antagonist, Jesse had taken a firm grasp of her hand and lifted it up. Quinn struggled half-heartedly, as she didn't want to make a scene, but Jesse held on tight. The song seemed to take forever to finish and Quinn's thoughts were soon preoccupied with how Jesse's hand felt like. His hand wasn't as clammy as Finn's but it wasn't as rough as Puck's. If she didn't know better, Quinn would have guessed Jesse used an expensive hand moisturizer on his hands regularly. His hand felt nice, even though it was squeezing hers tightly.

Finally, the song ended. Quinn waited for Jesse to let go as he still had a death grip on her hand, but long seconds after the rest of the congregation had moved on to the next part of the mass, Quinn realized Jesse was purposely keeping her hand up. Her cheeks turned red as she pulled her hand back down. Jesse lips curved in the smile that Quinn had grown so familiar with and hated all at the same time.

When the mass had finally ended, Quinn broke her practice of staying until long after the ceremony had finished. She needed to get away from Jesse before he drove her crazy this early on in the week. She was taking long, brisk strides in the lobby of the church when she heard it.

"The nerve. Coming here after what she's done. The Lord will never forgive her."

Already at her wits end, Quinn whirled around and faced the elderly lady who had made the derogatory remark. "Excuse me? Who are you to say who the Lord will or will not forgive? Do you have some secret to understanding how He thinks that is beyond human understanding?"

The woman was taken aback by Quinn's retort but stood her ground. "No amount of prayer will save you."

Quinn laughed evilly. "Perhaps it is you who wouldn't be saved. Had you been alive during Jesus' time, I bet you would have been the first person in line to crucify his mother Mary for being pregnant prior to her marriage with Joseph. Then none of us would be here today."

Speechless, the woman sniffed and turned away. Quinn glared at her back, enjoying the triumphant feeling her small victory had given her. The feeling was short lived as she heard a slow clap behind her. She knew no one disparaging enough to do that in a church other than Jesse and so she took her time turning around.

"Brava, Ms. Fabray. That was quite a display of bitch. It reminds me of -"

Quinn rolled her eyes and interrupted him before he could begin a long list of famous "bitches" on Broadway. "What do you want, Jesse?"

"Many things. I'd like a win at Regionals this year, as well as to graduate with honors so that I can secure the major that I'm after in UCLA, but also I'd like to have Rachel finally come to her senses and give in to the St. James charm." Jesse said with a leer. "Oh wait, I think I have all of that, or almost all of it coming my way."

Quinn grunted in exasperation and turned around and began to walk back home. She was thankful when she didn't hear Jesse following her. She wondered if she was just unlucky or if he just knew exactly what to say to push her buttons. Puck was always getting on her last nerve, but she knew he did it unintentionally most of time, which was frustrating on its own – to realize how little her baby's daddy understood her.

She walked on the opposite side of the road in order to better see the oncoming cars. After a few minutes of peaceful silence, Quinn saw a Range Rover on the opposite end of the road. She wouldn't have noticed it, but it had started to slow down the closer it approached her. Since she wasn't blocking its way, Quinn could only guess that with her luck, it was Jesse who was there to bother her again.

Quinn's guess was confirmed when Jesse rolled down the window. "You're quite rude aren't you? We weren't even finished talking."

"Why are you following me, Jesse?"

Jesse paused before answering. "I was the last person to see you. Should anything happen to you on your way home, perhaps an early labor, I would get blamed for your poor decision to walk by yourself and we quite frankly there isn't a lot of space left on the list of my sins."

It began to drizzle and Quinn wanted to scream as Jesse's smirk grew. It just wasn't fair that someone so close to being the devil had the ability to turn the weather to his advantage. "If I get in, will you promise not to talk?"

"Now why would I make a promise like that when I obviously enjoy hearing my voice and you are at the disadvantage? Perhaps I'll sing even."

Quinn glared at Jesse and would have stood there longer had the rain start to come down harder. She groaned and ran over to the passenger side of Jesse's car and got in. She had to admit, it was a better idea than walking home, Quinn felt the heater of the car the moment she closed the door and her body shivered.

Jesse rummaged through the backseat through his things – for a boy who was such a miva that he bordered on being gay, he was a real slob. At last, Jesse pulled out a towel from the backseat and handed it to Quinn before he began to drive. Quinn stared at it quizzically, wondering why Jesse was being helpful to her.

"It's clean," Jesse said in an annoyed voice.

Carefully drying her face and arms, Quinn said a soft thank you, still puzzled by his behavior. After a few moments, Quinn took notice of the road and realized they weren't headed in the direction of the Puckerman's house. "Where are we going?" Belatedly, Quinn realized that she probably should have felt worried that she was in a moving car and had no idea where she was going. Even though he had just saved her from the rain, Quinn knew that Jesse was always up to no good. Kidnapping her probably wasn't an option, since Quinn didn't know anyone who would pay the ransom, not that Jesse seemed like he had any need for money.

"I'm hungry. Doing a little good always makes me work up an appetite. There's a really good diner I wanted to try just around the block."

Quinn felt her tummy rumble and she immediately thought of the bacon that she couldn't eat in Puck's house. Surely the diner would have the dish she had been craving for so long now. She also thought of the oil and fat that would be dripping from it and couldn't decide if that repulsed her or made her even more ravenous.

They went around the small parking lot twice before they found a decent spot. While Quinn was slowly getting out of her side of the car, Jesse had already quickly made it over with an umbrella. Again, his gallantry stunned Quinn into silence. It was a good thing Jesse enjoyed the sound of his voice. His complaints about the parking spaces conditions filled the gap. "The food better be good, it's impossible to find a decent sized parking slot here," Jesse ranted as he walked them to the diner's entrance. "The slots either too small or next to a huge puddle of mud – I just cleaned my car!"

"You actually clean your own car?" Quinn couldn't help but ask.

"No, I pick up random girls on the road, seduce them and they do it for me for free," Jesse said slyly. Quinn rolled her eyes. "But given your condition, I think I'll give you a free pass."

"Thanks," Quinn said wryly. They settled into a booth and Quinn opened a menu and her mouth watered. There were so many interesting things on the menu which Quinn wanted to try. Pancakes, hash brown, bacon, scrambled eggs, oohh and then there was dessert. Quinn just couldn't decide.

As she flipped through the menu, Quinn noticed how puffy her fingers were getting lately. She looked down at her arms and at her stomach. She was definitely gaining a lot of weight and Quinn was not happy about it. Even in pregnancy and at the bottom of the high school hierarchy, Quinn was still very much conscious about her looks. Reluctantly, Quinn narrowed down her wish list.

Jesse was still browsing through the menu, reading through the items out loud, occasionally asking Quinn if she thought that particular dish would be good. Quinn felt her stomach growl louder and was grateful when the waitress finally arrived to take their order. She requested for the platter of fresh fruit and a glass of milk.

Jesse stared at her. "Is that all you're having?"

Quinn looked up at him defensively. "It's healthy."

"Healthy?" Jesse echoed, shaking his head in disbelief. He turned to the waitress and placed his order. Quinn's stomach growled again as she heard Jesse repeat out loud almost her entire wish list which happened to be almost everything on the menu. She looked over at his form – while he was nowhere near as buff as Puck or Finn, Jesse had a well toned body that looked well taken cared of. She envied how he could have such a body and eat all of that delicious food she was trying to avoid.

The waitress finally finished taking Jesse's order and for once the table was silent. Quinn realized that she was practically on a date with the devil himself, and yet he was acting like anything but. This made her feel uncomfortable, as she was not used to this side of Jesse. "So, where's Rachel?" Quinn asked awkwardly.

"Rachel spends her Sundays with her dads, it's a traditional whole day event for them. They wake up early, put together this big meal which they eat from breakfast until dinner. In between meals, they watch all sorts of shows from their collection, anywhere from musicals to black and white movies to taped performances of Rachel when she was a kid."

Quinn made a face. "Sounds fascinating."

"It does actually. Anyway, I didn't want to interrupt their quality bonding time, so I asked my uncle where I could find a church with a suitable mass and choir, and well here I am."

Quinn wanted to roll her eyes again but fought the urge to. She was saved from having to respond as their orders arrived. One by one the dishes were placed on their table and Quinn tried to refrain from looking at them longingly. Soon, every inch of their table was filled with food.

"Bon appétit!" Jesse said, as he proceeded to dig into his scrambled eggs.

"You're really going to eat all that?"

"No..." Jesse said slowly, as if the answer were obvious. "We're going to eat it. There is no way I can finish this all, I am on a strict diet in order to keep my body in top condition."

Even though Quinn really wanted to try all of the dishes that were currently sitting on their table, the smell was intoxicating, she was dismayed at the thought of the potential weight gain. "I don't want to eat all that, I'm happy with my order, this is more than enough for me," she insisted.

Jesse blinked and sneered at her. "Oh please, don't tell me you believe in the American ideal image of a perfect woman being as slim as a stick and sadly obsessed with vanity."

"Don't talk to me about vanity! Your hair looks like you spent an hour in front of a mirror and ten products on it!"

"We're not talking about me," Jesse said witheringly. "We're talking about you and your eating habits. How long have you been starving yourself?"

"Do I look like I'm starving to you?" Quinn placed a hand on her stomach." I must have gained thirty pounds since August!"

"You're pregnant, of course you're going to gain weight for the baby. Your baby won't be able to grow and be healthy if you're starving yourself. You keep starving yourself and your baby will come out ugly and malnourished and then no one will want to take your baby in. And then where will you find yourself? Stick thin with no one but yourself to take care of a hungry baby."

Quinn hesitated. "Do you really think my baby will be ugly if I don't eat?"

This time it was Jesse's turn to roll his eyes upward. "Yes. Now why don't we start you off nice and slow with this juicy bacon." Jesse took Quinn's plate of fruits from her and replaced it with the plate of bacon he had caught her eyeing earlier. Quinn stared at it for the longest time before giving in and biting into a slice.

"See? That wasn't so bad after all. So tell me, have you always hated yourself for eating?" Jesse took a slice of bacon from the plate in front of Quinn for himself and replaced it with a hash brown, which she dug into right away. Before she could finish, Jesse had already placed a pancake and some eggs on her plate.

Quinn wanted to tell Jesse it really wasn't necessary and that she would eat, but she didn't think he'd believe her. "Being a Cheerio was tough. Coach Sylvester had us all on a very strict diet and implemented a weekly weigh in. For every pound overweight, we had to run ten laps around the gym. Every day we were drinking the Sue Sylvester Master Cleanse. It had water, maple syrup for glucose, lemon for acid, cayenne pepper to irritate the bowels, and a dash of ipecac, a vomiting agent."

Jesse wrinkled his nose. "Sounds delicious. Do you miss it?"

"I definitely don't miss the Master Cleanse. But I do miss being a Cheerio. I enjoy after school curricular activities and I loved the uniform. I miss being the envy of all of the other girls in the school. I can't wait until May so that I can finally get back into shape. I can barely pick up after myself anymore. I feel so uncomfortable in this skin."

"Being at home in your body doesn't mean you're happy with how perfect it is. It means you're happy with it no matter what size you are. Really, Quinn, I thought you were better than that. Perhaps this pregnancy thing really has taken all the confidence out of you."

Quinn scowled. "You try being fat and see how perky you'll be."

"Please, do you really believe that women look and feel their best when all skin and bones? I personally think that all women are better with a few pounds on them. Believe me, sleeping with a stick isn't all that's cracked up to be."

"I seem to recall I was a 'stick' when I got knocked up by Puck."

"Well Puck has never had a good sense of judgment. If more men were as shallow as Puck, I think I can understand why naturally beautiful girls like you have this twisted sense of what they need to look like and this erroneous image is something that will be detrimental to them in the long run, especially in terms of health."

Quinn froze. Had Jesse St. James just say that she was beautiful? Was she hearing correctly?

Jesse took a deep breath, realizing that he was ranting. "Look, I'm just saying that instead of feeling bad about the baby weight, why don't you just enjoy the pregnancy glow that you have. It suits you."

Yes, she had heard him correctly. For some reason, that made Quinn blush and feel as beautiful as he had painted her out to be. "Thanks," she said softly, as she began to pick through her food.

They fell silent for awhile and listened to the sounds of the diner – dishes clinking against one another, hungry patrons calling over the waitresses and the sloshing of drinks being poured. "Hey, I never told you. I remembered meeting you at the Midwest Chastity Ball last year," Jesse said casually, in between bites.

Quinn stilled. "Oh really?"

"Yeah. The ball was about to begin, everyone was milling about with last minute preparations. My date, Sydney had left me backstage momentarily to talk to her mother and you were waiting impatiently for your date to come back with something."

"Finn," Quinn said softly. "Finn was my date to last year's ball. I had asked him to get me some water."

"So there we were backstage. With nothing better to do, I stroll around and find myself across Quinn Fabray, who is looking all displeased because her boyfriend , Finn, is dawdling."

"You're a very descriptive storyteller, aren't you?"

"Don't interrupt. Since I can never resist a challenge, I approach you to see if I can charm you out of your mood and because Sydney hasn't introduced us at that time, we talk for awhile without really getting each other's names."

"That was poor manners on your part."

"You didn't seem to think that when we were talking. I do recall you were flirting with me, touching my hand and laughing a lot as if you hadn't just been upset with Finn."

Quinn's hand tightened into a fist under the table. "I don't remember that. You must be thinking about some other girl."

Jesse smirked. "Oh, I definitely remember you. At the ball, after everyone learnt that I had slept with Mila the night before, everything became crazy. Mila had been dragged away by her mother and Sydney had left with Mila's date, Garrett. I wanted to try and salvage the night and I went to look for the pretty girl I had talked to and flirted with earlier that night."

"Pretty?" Quinn scoffed. "Then that was definitely not me. I was more than pretty back then. I was drop dead gorgeous and I would have won the title of queen of the ball that night had the scandal not distracted everyone."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Fine, that drop dead gorgeous girl I had flirted with earlier that night. Anyway, I found and cornered you right before you went into the powder room. I turned on the St. James charm and propositioned you. Over the years I've discovered that a lot of girls don't care about a bad boy's history and that it often even wants to make those girls sleep with said bad boy. But not you, you turned on me in full bitch mode and gave me a piece of your mind about sleeping with your best friend's friend."

Quinn tried to look as innocent as possible. "That could have been anyone, you upset a lot of people when the scandal broke out."

"That was definitely you," Jesse said with a conceited smile. "I wasn't sure when we first talked in the gym, but earlier in church I remembered how bitchy you can get."

Quinn glared at him witheringly. "You deserved it. Who in their right mind would expect to get laid after getting caught with Mila at a Chastity ball of all places? Given that a scandal had just broken over about sleeping with you, no girl in her right mind would just jump into the mess Mila was in."

"You were always concerned with your image, weren't you Quinn? It's obvious to me now why you took Finn as your boyfriend – he was the ideal boyfriend, every parent's dream. Nevertheless, It was clear that he wasn't your ideal boyfriend, you were always upset with him for one reason or the other." Jesse lowered his voice, "I'm not surprised Puck was the one who finally knocked you up. You've always struck me as the type to go for the bad boy, if not for all of your hang ups on the perfect image."

Quinn's blood started to boil. She looked down at the table to see if there was any food she could throw onto Jesse but found that they had already, amazingly enough, finished all of their food. She silently counted to ten in order to calm herself. "Dream on, Jesse."

Jesse chuckled. "I think I'll do that, thank you very much."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Dryyyyyy spell. Need more St. Fabray fics! Need more manips! Need more vids! Just a friendly reminder to please always review to inspire authors and editors, haha.

This chapter is dedicated to LJSkywalker, D-Fan, Heart Like Memphis, km and whatever12345 - thank you very much for reviewing!


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Sorry this took awhile. I'm enjoying this story (and I hope you are too!) but the story is quickly coming to a close - two chapters left after this! I'm still looking for potential storylines I could use for my next St. Fabray story, so any help you could give me would be great!

Thank you again dear readers, followers and reviewers. Kitkat1233 and LJSkywalker, I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you again for reviewing!

* * *

**DIRTY LITTLE SECRET**

**Chapter Four: Home – Part Two**

Quinn sat in the nurse's office having her weekly check up. By now she was quite used to all of the procedures, the checking of her pulse and vitals, everything to ensure the baby was growing up nice and healthy. She sat through it all, the words of the nurse entering one ear and exiting the other, she said the same thing each time Quinn came to visit.

On the other side of the room sat Mercedes who was getting her blood pressure checked. There was none of the usual joy and mischief in her eyes that Quinn had grown familiar with during glee practices. Instead the big girl was a shade paler than her usual chocolate brown, her regular smile curving upside down. Quinn felt a pang of pity her.

The other day in the cafeteria, Quinn had overheard that Sue had put Mercedes on a do-or-die diet, requiring her to drop ten pounds in a week. She had listened in as Santana and Brittany told Mercedes the secret of Sue Sylvester's Master Cleanse and watched helplessly as Mercedes gave up her food. Another one bites the dust. Sue was trying to ruin another young girl's self-image. But, Quinn thought to herself resolutely, not on her watch.

She approached Mercedes and offered her a granola bar. It was the only food she had on her. Mercedes shook her head. "Thanks, I'm not hungry."

"Yes you are," Quinn pushed, giving the girl an encouraging smile. "You're starving. I know, I've been there." She could see Mercedes warming up slowly in reaction to her smile and widened her knowing grin. "Did all the other kids start looking like food before you fainted?"

Mercedes looked up at her in disbelief. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Been there," Quinn confirmed with a nod of her head. She extended her hand out to her teammate again. "Eat the granola bar."

Warily, Mercedes accepted it. "Why are you being so nice to me?" She started to unwrap the granola bar. "I can't remember the last time you said two words to me that weren't 'you' and 'suck.'"

Quinn looked sheepish. "Because I was you. Scared. Hating myself for eating a cookie. But I got over it." _Just a few days ago_, she thought to herself.

"Of course you did, Miss Pretty-Blonde-with-the-white-girl-ass."

"When you start eating for somebody else, so that they can grow, be healthy, your relationship to food changes. I realized is that if I'm so willing to eat right to take care of this baby, why am I not willing to do it for myself." As soon as the words had left her lips, Quinn instantly recalled her conversation with Jesse in the diner and she felt a pang of irritation that he had been right about her again.

Before she could give it another thought, Quinn saw a tear trickle down Mercedes' face. She took her hand into hers. "You are so lucky. You've always been at home in your body. Don't let Ms. Sylvester take that away from you." _Not like me_, she mentally added.

"I'm so embarrassed. This isn't me. How did I become this person?"

Quinn thought of sharing with her all of her experiences with food, weight loss and the Cheerios, but she realized that she didn't want to make this about her. She gave Mercedes an encouraging smile and she focused on her. "You are beautiful. You know that. I'm going to stay with you until your mom comes, okay?"

They talked for a bit and soon they were giggling. Quinn waited until Mrs. Jones arrived to pick her daughter up. After she had left, Quinn had felt a little better about her day.

Quinn picked up her discarded school books and exited the nurse's office. She turned around the corner and instantly her day grew sour. On the other end of the hallway were Rachel and Jesse standing by the door of the diva's next class. She watched in disgust as Rachel pouted her lips a little, earning her a kiss from the maybe-secret bad boy. She rolled her eyes, gripped her books a little tighter and walked a little faster down the hall. Unfortunately, Jesse caught sight of her just as she turned the corner.

Like clockwork, Quinn counted only five minutes before Jesse had plopped down in her table in the library – three minutes for Rachel to go inside her class and another two for Jesse to look for Quinn in the spot where she had chosen to hide in the library. Quinn always sought out a secluded spot in the library each time she went there. She wasn't sure if she did this in order to hide from Jesse or if she was trying to hide from everyone that she and Jesse actually talked. Quinn wasn't sure.

It was just her luck that she shared a free period with the senior on this particular day of the week. Did he know her schedule? He just always seemed to be around and always seemed to find wherever she decided to hide in the library.

Quinn never spoke to anyone about the time she spent with Jesse, and as Rachel seemed content to ignore Quinn rather than attack her, Quinn figured that Jesse never saw the need to inform his girlfriend either. It was like a dirty little secret and Quinn had yet to decide how she felt about it.

"So, what have you eaten today," he opened casually.

Quinn gave him a death glare and propped her head on her left arm, doing her best to ignore him. She flipped through her school book, making a poor attempt to start her homework.

"Don't tell me you're still mad at me for making you eat, are you?"

She looked at him long and hard before finally shaking her head. "You were right," Quinn admitted. Eating has been good for me. It's been good for the baby. The baby is happy, and so was the nurse during my check up earlier. Everyone is happy but me. I don't appreciate you checking up on what I eat on a daily basis."

Jesse laughed quietly to himself and chucked Quinn on her chin. "I'm not happy. You think it's easy for me to chase you down every day to make sure you're eating properly? I'm really doing this to make sure you're healthy. Just yesterday you had an apple and half a sandwich for lunch. That's not enough. So tell me, what did you eat today?"

Quinn threw him a look. "I had chicken and vegetables. So very healthy and filling."

Jesse frowned. "No granola bar for dessert?"

Quinn hesitated. "Nope."

"I gave it to you this morning to eat. I made sure it wasn't one of those nutty kinds, this one had loads of sugar in it. That granola bar was meant for eating, Quinn. Not tossing it into your bag and ignoring it." Jesse crossing his arms in front of his chest and looked at her sternly. "Now eat it."

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? No one is going to notice you eating in the library. And even if they do, all you have to tell them is that you need to eat regularly because you're pregnant."

"I gave the granola bar to Mercedes earlier in the nurse's office."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Now you're just making excuses. Mercedes didn't need that extra weight, you do."

Quinn crossed her arms in front of her chest as well, immediately getting defensive. "Mercedes does need the extra energy. She's stopped eating the past few days. Haven't you noticed how pale she was at practice the other day? Coach Sylvester ordered her to drop ten pounds within the week and so Mercedes is convinced that she needs to be thinner in order to be happy with her body. So I gave her the granola bar."

Jesse was quiet for a long time. "Was it like looking into a mirror?"

"More like watching a horror film where you know the hero will get gutted in the end." Quinn paused. "When you're a Cheerio and on top of the world, you forget about important things like health in favor of things like vanity and what the other girls say you should be. You ignore hunger pangs, believing it to be a weakness. Watching Mercedes starve herself was like seeing myself one year ago. When I gave her that granola bar, I felt like I wanted to give it to myself all those years ago. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am today if I had only felt more comfortable about my weight back then," she said, thinking back to her fat day when Puck had come over with wine coolers.

Jesse pursed his lips in amusement. "That would be an interesting sight to see, a chubby Quinn Fabray in her Cheerio uniform terrorizing McKinley High."

Quinn shot him a death glare. "I would not be chubby. I'd just be… curvier."

Jesse's smirk widened as his eyes glittered. "You're too vain about your appearance, Quinn. You should take some pointers from Rachel. She's always been comfortable with what she has, and her being a vegetarian had nothing to do with watching her weight, rather the nutritious value of what she takes in. Even when you cheerleaders and jocks were tearing her down with your insults and slushies, she knew to turn a deaf ear on them and concentrate on her goal of becoming a star."

"Don't compare me with her. We are nothing alike."

Without realizing it, Quinn had developed a strong loathing for the glee club's female star. When she had first joined glee and even prior to that, Quinn had always picked on Rachel simply because she was annoying. When Rachel had told Finn Quinn's secret, causing the breakup, Quinn hadn't even gotten upset with her. In fact she appreciated her even for doing what Quinn had struggled to do herself. After that, Quinn simply ignored Rachel, making snide comments only when Rachel was being over dramatic – like when she was having concerns with sleeping with whom Quinn later realized was Jesse.

Quinn felt a sense of fellowship with Rachel that was limited to their glee club relationship. Which was why she had come to her defense when Jesse had first stepped into the picture and had appeared to threaten the club's balance of power. But as the days passed and as Quinn found herself thinking about it more and more, she felt irate with Rachel for easily having what Quinn used to and could no longer have. Quinn refused to even consider the possibility that these feelings were triggered by the time she was spending with Rachel's boyfriend.

He chuckled. "As you wish." He reached into his bag and tossed her another granola bar. "Here, get 'curvier.'" When Quinn reluctantly took the granola bar from Jesse, he added, "Giving the granola bar to Mercedes today was understandable, but let me remind you, your baby will be ugly if you keep giving up your food."

"Stop saying that!" Quinn was visibly upset.

"What? That your baby will be ugly if you starve yourself? Aren't you giving your baby up?"

Quinn glared at him. "I don't want my baby to be born ugly. What if the parents adopting my baby decide they don't want to take her? What if my baby's ugliness rubs off me and I'll never look good again?"

Jesse gave Quinn a condescending look. "You're just too insecure aren't you? Has your pregnancy completely taken away your sense of self-esteem? You're still beautiful, Quinn, and if you take care of yourself, your baby will look just as great as you do."

"Now you're just saying that to make me feel better."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Come here." He moved over to one of the library's computers next to their table. Curiously, Quinn placed her school books in her bag and sat down in the chair next to Jesse in front of the computer. He opened up a word document. 'Glist' he typed out at the top of the page. "Now, give me around eight names of the most sexually attractive people in the glee club."

"Are you serious?"

"Dead serious, now come on."

"Brittney, Santana and myself. And Finn, Matt, Mike and Puck."

"I asked you to be serious about this, you're just naming Cheerios and jocks."

"And a former Cheerio, don't forget that. I was being serious. New Directions started out with six members. They actively recruited from the popular kids in hopes of the glee club improving its status among the rest of the school."

"I'm guessing it didn't work?"

"Not when the coolest of the cool kids got knocked up."

"Fine. That's seven names. Aren't you even going to include me?"

"You're not a jock."

"But I'm good looking."

"I don't know why I'm so surprised at how high your self-esteem is. Fine, we'll add you to the list if you want to be part of it so badly."

"Let's not forget Rachel," Jesse said, already typing her name on the list without waiting for Quinn's confirmation.

"Let us forget, Rachel. Your girlfriend has man hands, Jesse. I though this list was supposed to contain the most sexually attractive people in the glee club – good singing doesn't necessarily equate to sexual attraction."

"It's my list so I'm still putting her on the list." Jesse quickly reviewed the list. "Okay, so now we have nine names. Now I'll arrange them in order of hotness, descending order."

"Rachel goes last on the list."

"I told you, this is my list. Let's start from the top instead. Can I assume your baby's daddy goes at the top of the list? He must be pretty good if you were the queen of the celibacy club and had a boyfriend at that time."

"I was drunk and had a bad day," Quinn hissed. "But go ahead, Puck has had a ton of conquests before and after me. He's earned every inch of his reputation."

"Really? Who did he sleep with even after he knocked you up?"

"Santana," Quinn responded bitterly. "I found out they were sexting when Puck and I were together, so I wouldn't put it past him to sleep with her when I told him I wasn't going to."

"Interesting," Jesse mused. "So Santana is like the female version of Puck?"

"You could say that. While Puck had seduced the queen of the celibacy club, Santana had followed in his footsteps by seducing the king."

"The king being…?"

"Finn, of course. He was my king, anyway. We made such a perfect couple."

"Which you ruined. Well this is interesting. I don't recall hearing from Rachel that Finn had slept with Santana and you know how that girl can talk. Perhaps the news didn't reach her. I'm sure she would have said something had she known."

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe Finn didn't tell Rachel. This happened after Finn had broken up with Rachel for a chance with Santana and Brittany together and Rachel didn't want him back after that."

"Santana and Brittany both?"

"They're a package deal in many cases, I've heard."

Jesse's lips curved in his usual smirk. "What an fascinating web you've got here in the glee club. Okay, so we've got Puck followed by Santana and then Brittany. Let's throw in Finn for sleeping with the head Cheerio after you had slept with his best friend. Who is next?"

"Mike and then Matt."

"Any reason for putting them there and in that order?"

Quinn shrugged again. "Mike has a lot of good dance moves, dancing can be another form of sexual attraction. And Matt definitely goes before Rachel."

"I told you this was my list. If we follow your dancing theory, I'm putting Rachel right after Finn but right before Mike and then Matt. Rachel and I share a ballet class and she's just as good a dancer as she is a singer."

"Why would you put Rachel there and not higher? Given that she is your girlfriend, of course."

A brittle smile appeared on Jesse's face and this time it was his turn to shrug. "Let's just say Rachel hasn't reached her full sexual appeal. But I'm working on that."

Quinn was silent as she pondered his words. Was Jesse saying that Rachel hadn't slept with him yet? Quinn hadn't even thought of that possibility as they were very open about their public displays of affection, so what more could they do in private that they weren't doing in public? This was a new revelation to Quinn and she wasn't sure what she thought about it.

"Okay, so now that we've arranged the rest of the list, where would you put yourself on this list, Quinn?"

Without hesitation, Quinn responded, "At the bottom of the list."

"I don't know why I'm so surprised at how low your self-esteem is," he said, mimicking her earlier statement. "But I digress, this is why we're putting this list together in the first place, for you to reevaluate where you stand in comparison to your peers. While you think you belong at the bottom of this list, I'd say we put you at the top, right above Puck. This is my list, after all."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "You're just saying that. Are you trying to get into my pants, St. James?"

Jesse laughed. "Not in your current condition."

"Do you have a problem with 'fat chicks' too," Quinn asked in a dangerously low voice.

"Hardly," he scoffed. "If you would recall, I told you I hated sleeping with sticks and preferred my partners to have something plump that I can grab at. The only reason I'm not trying to get into your pants, or rather up your skirt," he said, in reference to the dresses that Quinn always wore, "is because you're so dangerously close to your due date. I'd rather not risk an early delivery."

Quinn pursed her lips in her own smirk as she accepted his response. She shivered as Jesse drew closer to her ear and whispered, "But I promise you. If you hadn't been knocked up when I joined New Directions, I guarantee I would have tried my hardest to get into your skirt. Maybe I would have even given you a baby you'd want to keep." Jesse smirked as he drew back into his seat and Quinn could feel her face getting hot.

Suddenly, Quinn was more aware of how closely she was sitting beside Jesse and she wondered if she could hear if his heart was beating as fast as hers. She could definitely smell his cologne from where she sat. It was the same cologne he had worn the Sunday they had attended mass together. He smelled nice and Quinn realized she was getting turned on by Jesse.

Realizing how dangerous it was to get involved with Jesse St. James, Quinn shook herself out of her thoughts and tried to deflect the current train of thought their conversation had taken. "And where would you put yourself on this list?"

"On the top of course, do you have any objections to that?"

Quinn laughed at Jesse's ego. "Of course not, if I believe everything I hear about your sexual prowess, you definitely belong above Puck on the Glist."

His smirk turning into a genuine smile, Jesse leaned forward in his chair. "You can still be the most desirable girl in school, Quinn. It's just a matter of reminding yourself and reminding the entire school about where you belong. Have some confidence in yourself and your good genes. Go back to projecting that image where you are the most desirable girl ever to walk McKinley High."

Quinn looked thoughtful, but didn't say anything.

Jesse chuckled and looked at his watch. "I need to go and meet Mr. Schue for some song issues. You'd think our musical coach would be able to decide what songs work best with our current vocal range arrangement. But then again, I am Jesse St. James and it's almost impossible to be better than me. I'll see you later at glee practice?"

Quinn nodded and watched him leave the library. She then returned her gaze thoughtfully Jesse's Glist which he had left on the computer. She had to admit, it looked pretty nice onscreen, being on top again. She decided to print the list to help remind her that she could be on top again if she worked hard enough at it.

But before Quinn pressed the Print button, she looked at the list again. She frowned when she saw Rachel's name. Despite what Jesse said, this would be Quinn's list, she was the one keeping it to remind herself of her worth after all. She removed the diva from her spot between Finn and Mike and returned Rachel's name to the bottom of the list where Quinn had originally wanted her at. Animals on sweaters so did not equal sexual attractiveness in any book.

She looked back at the list and realized she still wasn't at the top. Jesse was. Quinn realized that she didn't want anyone to discover her with this list and see Jesse at the top of the list – they might come to the conclusion that Quinn was involved with Jesse, or worse, was pining after Rachel's boyfriend from afar after she had already taken Finn from her. Despite Jesse's alleged sexual reputation, which Quinn had a feeling only she and Rachel were aware of as they seemed to be the only ones at McKinley that talked to him, Quinn thought it was safer to put him below Brittany but above Finn.

Quinn looked back at the list in satisfaction and finally pressed the Print button. She rushed over to the printer before anyone could see her silly list and stuffed it into her binder. She would post it somewhere in her room where she was sure Puck wouldn't find it - maybe inside a school book.

The rest of Quinn's day was relatively uneventful. April Rhodes had come over again to gift to the glee club with the auditorium. New Directions performed Home from The Wiz with April and Quinn thought she cleaned up nicely.

As practice was breaking up for the day, Quinn picked up her school bags from the chair where she had left it. When she looked up, she saw Rachel with her arms all over Jesse and Quinn felt a twinge of jealousy. Quinn was surprised at the momentary feeling and chalked it up to spending too much time with Jesse and her natural dislike for Rachel. That and maybe Jesse was just getting under Quinn's skin. Maybe she should try harder to avoid him.

Quinn turned away abruptly from the couple and saw Finn watching Rachel and Jesse as well from where he stood near the emergency exit. She saw the emotion thick behind Finn's eyes, it was similar to the fury that had burned when Finn was beating Puck up after he had discovered that Puck and Quinn had lied about her baby's parentage. She tried to tear her gaze away from Finn before he realized she was watching him, but she was invisible to him. All Finn could see was Rachel and Jesse.

Quinn quickly realized that Finn still wasn't over Rachel, despite what he had told the two the week before. This fueled Quinn's negative feelings for the brunette. She hated how Finn was still hung up over Rachel, just as she disliked her for being with Jesse who was slowly starting to help Quinn feel better about herself. Maybe she was being selfish, but Quinn felt Rachel was getting everything when Quinn still didn't have anything.

She needs to be brought down a peg or two and reminded of her place, Quinn thought to herself snidely. She turned on her heel and left glee practice as quickly as she could. She returned to her locker to get a few books that she needed in order to do her homework that night, all the while fuming to herself about Rachel Berry's perfect life.

Quinn had just slammed her locker shut when she looked up and realized that Rachel's locker was only a few lockers down from hers. Quinn opened her binder and found the print out she had made earlier of the Glist. She reread it and found satisfaction in seeing her name on top of the list and Rachel's at the bottom. Without a second thought, Quinn grabbed a piece of tape from a poster that hung nearby and posted the Glist on Rachel's locker.

Quinn hesitated for a moment after she posted it. The Glist was supposed to be her personal list which was meant to remind Quinn about everything that she had and could still have. When she closed her eyes, Quinn kept thinking about Rachel and Jesse and Finn in the auditorium and her fury returned. She walked away from Rachel's locker. If she was lucky, Rachel would see it before she went home, take it down and stare at it all evening, ruining her day as well.

Feeling vindicated, Quinn smiled to herself evilly and started to feel almost normal again. She found herself skipping a little as she made her way to the parking lot to meet Puck.


	5. Chapter 5

**DIRTY LITTLE SECRET**

**Chapter Five: Bad Reputation**

Quinn leaned back as far as she could in her seat and tried to look as calm as possible. She was at glee practice, and this was the first practice since Mr. Schue had confronted the team about the Glist. As far as Quinn could tell, he had no clue on who had put together the list and posted it, but from what she heard, he would be interviewing each one of them during the week in order to find out.

She had no idea how Mr. Schue had gotten a copy of the Glist and why Principal Figgins was demanding action on it. Perhaps Rachel hadn't passed by her locker after practice and someone else had taken the Glist. Quinn regretted posting the stupid list and wished she could undo her action just as she was physically willing her knee to not bounce nervously. She couldn't get caught, she just couldn't.

"Hey, Quinn," Puck whispered into her ear softly.

"What is it?" Quinn asked irritably, still worrying about the Glist.

"I have some geometry homework I really need to ace this week and I remembered you were at the top of our class. Think you could help me later when we get home?"

Quinn looked at him, her expression a mixture of surprise and annoyance. "What? Okay, I'll help you, but no funny business. I know how coax all of your girls into studying with you and end up doing much more after. I've had enough of that, thank you very much."

Puck grunted in response and turned away as it was obvious that Quinn wasn't interested in talking to him.

Barely registering Puck's request, Quinn's mind was still on the Glist and how much damage it had caused. It hadn't made quite the impact Quinn had expected it to. She was flattered that no one had questioned her placing on the list, however everyone else was preoccupied with increasing their status or visibility in the group. Artie and a few others had tried to make a scene in the library earlier that day and Kurt had confessed to Coach Sylvester about taking her personal video. It seemed the only one who didn't seem so affected by the list was of course it's original author, Jesse.

Quinn's eyes fell on Jesse's curly locks as he sat in the row in front of her. Jesse had been ignoring her since the Glist came out. Not that Quinn and Jesse had several opportunities a day to see each other, but Quinn definitely felt the lack of his presence when he would no longer appear out of the blue whenever she was alone. She knew he was upset with her for publishing the list and she wondered if he too was concerned about getting caught and then expelled. The confident look on his face told the world he had no cares, but Quinn knew enough about Jesse that he always wore that look and that he could be very deceiving.

Mr. Schue came into the room and called practice to begin. After a few more warnings about the Glist, he called Rachel up to present her "bad reputation" video. Quinn stifled a giggle when the diva came on screen, she was even more overdramatic if possible. However, the moment Puck appeared in the video, Quinn's eyes narrowed as she turned to her sort-of boyfriend. In a whisper, he asked her if she agreed that his muscles looked even better on screen and Quinn whacked him on the arm.

Quinn found the video disgusting and completely overdone, but her disgust soon turned to confusion when she saw Jesse appear on screen. Well, of course he should be in the video, she thought to herself. Jesse was Rachel's boyfriend. He should be part of the video, not Puck. Quinn felt her mouth drop when Jesse suddenly turned into Finn. Were all three of them seriously in this one video all playing the same character of Joey?

Quinn quickly looked around the room and saw that the three boys were not happy and she realized that none of them had realized they were sharing the lead role in the video. She looked over at Rachel who was so into watching the video that she hadn't even realized that the boys weren't sharing her excitement and that Jesse had even pulled away from her. Quinn laughed to herself at the absurdity of it all – her first genuine laugh since she had put up the Glist.

Finally, the video finished and Rachel had leapt up, proud of her work. As Quinn had predicted, the boys had torn her to shreds over what she had done, and she couldn't help but feel delighted as she saw Jesse furiously turn to Rachel to give her a piece of his mind before he followed Finn out of the room.

Watching Finn and Jesse walk out on Rachel and the club had made Quinn feel a mild sense of satisfaction. She recalled how jealous she had felt at last week's practice at all the attention Rachel was getting from the boys. This hadn't been what Quinn had expected as a result of posting the Glist, but it had served its purpose. Rachel had felt badly about her spot on a list whose author she didn't know and had taken action – a rather foolish action – as a result. Quinn had gotten what she wanted, she had made Rachel feel bad, but Finn, Jesse and Puck had all been casualties.

Given the awkward situation, Mr. Schue let practice out early. Everyone started to pile out, but Quinn remained in her seat, still deep in thought. Puck waited for everyone else to leave the room before taking the seat in front of her. "Quinn," he called her, breaking her out of her thoughts. Quinn stopped thinking about the Glist for a moment and focused on Puck. He looked guilty and Quinn remembered that last week he had brought her home and then drove off to hang out with the boys. He must have gone over to Rachel's to work on the video then. Her eyes narrowed as she became irritated at Puck all over again. It was bad enough being the invisible girl at school, did he have to make it worse by hooking up with every other girl, even the losers?

He sighed loudly before he began to speak. "Quinn. That video—it was nothing. I just wanted you to know that nothing happened while we were filming it. I knew it would look bad, I didn't realize until earlier just how bad it really was."

Quinn stared at him for a long time, and she enjoyed seeing Puck shift uncomfortably in his chair while he waited for her to speak. "So why did you do it?"

Puck scratched his mohawk. "I don't know. Maybe to make you jealous? You're always in your own world, Quinn. You and I go to the same school, we go home to my house at the end of the day, but you always keep to yourself. You never seem to need my help, or want to talk to me and I guess I thought this would catch your attention."

Quinn sucked in a breath as she listened to Puck's words. What was he saying? Did he care about her? In his crazy, Puck-like way? Quinn thought back and realized he was right, and she hadn't even realized it. They barely spoke whenever they were together, and often, when he did say something to her, Quinn would snap at him, finding offense at things that hadn't meant to be offensive. She had been increasingly upset lately and how Puck couldn't get her, but maybe she hadn't even been trying to make him listen and understand in the first place.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "You're right. I was jealous. Here, I am pregnant and I'm not even convinced that my baby's daddy thinks I'm the one. You chase after anything in a skirt, Puck, and you do it right in front of me. I look even more foolish than I already am and I hate it."

"No, I'm sorry," Puck said, taking her hands into his. "All of those girls, they don't mean anything to me. They're just there for me to pass the time with, to help make me forget that even though you're carrying my baby, I will never be your first choice. It sucks too." Quinn looked up at him and gave him a small smile. He squeezed her hands. "I promise I'll stop."

It felt nice to have his hands around her hands, Quinn thinks. Perhaps she had been living in her own shell lately and had closed herself off from human connection. For a moment, Quinn wondered what it would be like to trust herself with Puck again, to just give in and let him take care of her. Would they be good together?

Quinn looks up into Puck's eyes and sees that he's looking down tenderly at her growing belly. She instantly warms up, it's been awhile since anyone had paid any attention to her stomach and been anything but negative. "She's kicking lightly, do you want to feel?"

His eyes lit up and nodded slowly. Quinn took his hand into hers and placed it on her tummy. She smiled as he smiled when he felt the baby kick. Quinn knew she couldn't trust Puck with her heart, but maybe she could trust him with their baby's. He seemed to have a soft spot for her baby. Quinn found herself wishing that his feelings for their baby would translate into his feelings for her and that he would indeed give up being a player for her.

"That was amazing," he whispers. Quinn's smile widened a little.

Without letting go of her hands, Puck stood up and pulled her up as well. He let go of her left hand so that she could pick up her bag and then led her out of the choir room. "So are you ready to go home with me?"

They turned towards the parking lot on their right, but Quinn jumped when she heard a locker bang. She turned to her left and saw that it was Jesse. He still looked furious. He continued down the hall in the opposite direction and instantly all of Quinn's warm and fuzzy feelings disappeared and her guilt returned. "Could you give me thirty minutes? There are some things I need to do before I leave."

"Want me to come with you?"

She shook her head. "No, I'll be fine. I'll meet you at the parking lot entrance in thirty minutes."

Puck stared into her eyes for awhile, as if trying to determine what she was up to. Then, he gave her hand one final squeeze, before he murmured his agreement and let go. Quinn watched him walk down the hallway until he disappeared from her sight before she turned and followed the direction Jesse had taken.

What was she doing, leaving something promising with Puck in order to go off and check how Jesse was doing? What her guilt eating at her and she wanted to make amends for her actions? Was she going to run after Finn next to make sure he was alright?

It hit Quinn then. Of course she wasn't going to run after Finn next. Quinn hadn't even expected to mend things with Puck earlier. No, the moment she had seen the video she had instantly looked to Jesse to see what his reaction was and wondered how he was doing. Why? Perhaps she enjoyed his friendship more than she realized. Setting aside the snarky comments and lightly veiled sexual tension between the two of them was a tentative friendship. Jesse had helped her out in more ways than one and now it was her turn to return the favor.

Quinn was racking her brains thinking of the places where Jesse might be headed when she ran straight into him. She looked up at him and was immediately drawn by his eyes. His eyes, which normally turned mischievous the moment they met hers, remained as stormy.

"Jesse," she had asked breathlessly, "are you okay?"

"No, Quinn. I am not okay. I am absolutely livid. I can't believe she humiliated me like that in front of the whole glee club. Who does Rachel think she is? Am I not enough for her that she feels she needs two other boys to look good? What does she even see in those dimwitted jocks?" Jesse continued to rant while Quinn led him into a nearby empty classroom so that they had privacy to talk.

Quinn listened quietly to Jesse fume. She realized that this was the first time Jesse had ever really opened up to her about how he was feeling. Almost all of their conversations revolved around her and her brokenness. Now it was her turn to be there for him. If not for the tentative friendship, just because it was all her fault anyway. Quinn knew it was only a matter of time before he finally turned to her, glaring. "This is all your fault. In your spite, did you really need to put her last on the list?"

Although guilty, Quinn responded defensively, "I stand by that ranking. Obviously, you're too distracted by your hormones and musically inclined ear to perceive how annoying your girlfriend is. Had there been a second list, her bad reputation video would have cost her more points on the list, it was just awful."

"It was awful, but that's beside the point." Jesse rolled his eyes. "What on earth made you decide to print that list and post it? Were you hoping it would come true and suddenly make you popular and interesting to people again?"

"It was true! We made this list together, remember?"

"It was, until you started making changes after I had left. I believe Rachel was at least at number seven and I distinctly remember that we agreed that I was number one on this list. I can't believe you moved me to number five," Jesse grumbled.

This time it was Quinn's turn to roll her eyes. "That would have been too obvious. Rachel and I are the only ones in this school who know about your sexual depravity. And while I can't be sure who in this school would know I know, we've been talking too much at school which would make anyone suspicious."

"Point is, Quinn, you shouldn't have printed the list. That was our list. It wasn't meant for the consumption of others. You can see now how they're all reacting to it. Whether or not the content was accurate, lists like that get to people, make them act differently."

"How was I to know your girlfriend would go crazy? I would have thought she would have exposed all of the dirty secrets about your torrid love affair and sex life, but instead she chose to create some drama with you, Finn and Puck. You did know she had a thing with Puck awhile back, right?"

Jesse's eyes darkened again. "I can't believe she did that to me. This is absolutely degrading. I'm joining my friends from Carmel high on spring break next week, and I have no idea what I'm going to say when they ask me about her. That my girlfriend doesn't think I'm good enough to give her a bad reputation? That she has to feature me with two guys she dated? She didn't even realize I'd be upset! How could she do this to me? I'm Jesse St. James, I'm the best there is!"

As Quinn listened to Jesse complain about Rachel, her concerned expression turned into puzzlement. Jesse's reaction to Rachel's video wasn't quite what she had been expecting. He was more angry than he was depressed. "Jesse," Quinn interrupted. "Can I ask you something?"

He paused. "What?"

"You seem quite upset and furious about the video, with good reason," Quinn added hastily, when she saw Jesse open his mouth and begin to retort. "You're not heartbroken about your girlfriend being with two other guys, rather, your ego is hurt. I was just thinking that if you love her as much as you say you do, you should be agonizing over her decision to throw in Finn and Puck in her video, and crying because she broke your heart."

"Crying? Quinn, I'm not some baby girl."

"Well, you're a performer, I figure you make everything more dramatic than it needs to be. Jesse, it seems to me like Rachel wasn't someone you love who hurt you, instead she was just some random person in your life who insulted you and your pride."

Jesse tensed at Quinn's words, as if something she said had clicked in his brain. He didn't say anything for a while, but Quinn could see his fist clench and unclench. "Well, what about you? You were clapping after that video and seemed to be pretty amused. Why weren't you heartbroken about Puck being in the video?" he asked, avoiding a response to what she had brought up.

Quinn looked away. "I never said I loved Puck. You don't have to be in love with someone in order to sleep with them." Jesse grunted in agreement. "I was hurt that he was in Rachel's video. My heart wasn't broken, but my pride was definitely damaged. Which is why I was surprised to see the same reaction from you."

Jesse glared at Quinn. "I love Rachel. Loved. I don't know. Maybe it's possible I love myself more," he shrugged.

"I don't think I'm surprised to hear that."

The corner of Jesse's mouth quirked up a little. "Thanks for coming after me, Quinn."

Quinn shrugged. "It was my fault." She looked down at her hands and recalled the events leading up to this – from the making of the list, her jealousy over Rachel leading to the list's posting, Mr. Schue's threats and then Rachel's video.

Jesse walked over to Quinn and sat down beside her. "Not just yours, it was our fault."

Quinn bit her lip. "Mr. Schue is going to kill me when he finds out. Obviously he's going to know it was me as my name was at the top of the Glist! I was so stupid for printing and then posting up that list. I was having a really bad day and wasn't thinking straight. I hate being invisible and I was just so angry that afternoon." Jesse put an arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze in comfort. "I don't even hate Rachel. She's completely irritating but I never hated her. Never until that day and everything just spilled over. She had everything.

"Mr. Schue told me that Principal Figgins wants to expel the author of the list and then I really won't have anything left. It's amazing how you think you have nothing and then you can lose even more."

As soon as Quinn's eyes began to water, Jesse pulled her up and hugged her. "Hey, nothing is going to happen to you. I have your back, you are not going to get expelled. And even if you do, there's always Carmel High and Vocal Adrenalin. You have a pretty decent set of pipes, I'm sure I can throw in a good word for you over there."

A small smile formed on Quinn's mouth. It was nice to have Jesse smile at her again and make jokes. As she buried her face in his chest, Quinn realized it was really nice to have his arms around her. In all the times that he had made her feel better, Jesse had always done it with his words and his smile. This was the first time Jesse had ever made her feel better with his touch. He felt so good and warm.

She looked up at him and found him looking at her intently. "Jesse?"

"Yeah?" he said softly, leaning his head closer to hers. He was going to kiss her, Quinn realized instantly. The look in his eyes told her so. And then he brushed her hair back with his hand, all the while keeping their gazes locked together. Quinn felt her knees getting weak.

"I think this is a bad idea."

"Why? We're both good looking people and on top on my version of the Glist before you went and changed it. And I did promise you that I'd have your back on this. What better way to seal the deal than with a kiss?"

Jesse's face was drawing closer to hers and Quinn paused as she reveled in the feel of him in front of her. It had been so long since she had been kissed. Quinn was starting to forget what it felt like. It would have been so easy, just lean forward a few more centimeters. She bit her lip.

But just before Jesse's lips met hers, Quinn snapped out of it and pushed Jesse back. "Jesse, I can't. Puck—"

"What about Puck?" Jesse asked, sounding a little frustrated. He let go of her. "You said you didn't love him."

"I don't," Quinn said, raking her hand through her hair nervously. She moved away, hoping that he would see her hands trembling. "I don't love Puck. I don't even know if I can trust him. But he cares for me. And I think I want to try and make things work between us. For my baby's sake."

"I'm thrilled to hear that," Jesse responded sarcastically.

"Besides, you said you still loved Rachel. Whether or not you're not sure if you still have those feelings, I think us kissing right now would be a really bad idea."

Jesse didn't respond immediately and just stared at Quinn, making her feel slightly uncomfortable. "You're right," he said. "I'm sorry."

There was a long and awkward silence.

"I have to go," Quinn finally said. "I have to go and meet P—meet my ride and head home."

Jesse nodded.

"Enjoy your spring break."

"I will, thanks."

Quinn bit her lip before nodding. As she turned towards the door, Jesse called back out to her. "Hey, Quinn. Don't forget – I still have your back. So don't worry about anything."

A big smile graced Quinn's features. "Thanks, Jesse." She left the room with the silly grin still stuck on her face. When she had gotten to the parking lot to meet up with Puck, he had noticed the smile on her face and asked why she was smiling.

"No special reason," she had said.

"You keeping secrets from me, Quinn?" When she looked up she saw that the expression on his face was soft, not at all accusing like his words. Her smile affected Puck and made him gentle as he smiled back at her.

Quinn turned thoughtful as she thought about Jesse. He was her little secret. But she wasn't going to give that away by acknowledging that to Puck. She shook her head and gave him another dazzling smile. "Not at all."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Apologies that this has taken so long. Writer's block took over and I wasn't so sure I wanted this story to end. On a brighter note, I'm drafting a new future fic story. Hopefully that will turn out as good as (or even better) than this!

As always, reviews are much appreciated and loved!


	6. Chapter 6

**DIRTY LITTLE SECRET**

**Chapter Six: Dream On**

Quinn Fabray was exactly Jesse's type – beautiful but broken. Jesse had always enjoyed getting close to those girls and exploiting their weakness to his own pleasure or amusement, whichever he could get depending on the circumstances. He had no doubt that had she not been pregnant, he probably would have done his best to seduce Quinn and succeed during his time with New Directions.

Jesse was fascinated by Quinn. Despite being broken, she continued on with a defiant look and stood her ground. Her eyes flared whenever she confronted him and not even her growing tummy prevented him from being turned on by her. Rachel utterly bored Jesse to tears, she was practically like every other girl in Carmel High. But until Ms. Corocan called him back, Jesse had to put up with Rachel and keep himself entertained on the side by bothering Quinn.

He loved seeing a blush crawl up her neck whenever he pushed her buttons. Jesse found it immensely pleasing that she didn't back away from him each time he confronted her. She was always up for the challenge. By now, it was increasingly obvious that Jesse only cornered Quinn to talk whenever she was alone, and yet, she had never made an extra effort to keep herself with company at all times. It was almost as if she anticipated those moments with him as well.

It was quite a coincidence that they had previously met at the Midwest Chastity Ball. At the time, Quinn had been just another pretty face to Jesse. Because he was in between girls at that time, Jesse hadn't bothered to make an effort to chase after her. But Quinn had remembered him, before he had remembered her. This pleased Jesse.

Quinn was turning out to be delightful company for Jesse. While he enjoyed how easy it was to tease her and push her buttons, he took pleasure in their conversations as Quinn was both witty and sharp. Jesse knew he wouldn't be able to push Quinn around to doing anything she didn't partially want to do herself. There was a point where Jesse felt like the evil witch in Hansel and Gretel. While the witch had fed the children to plump them up for her dinner, Jesse was feeding Quinn both for her baby's sake and because he really thought she'd look much hotter if she were curvier, exactly the way he liked his girls.

Quinn's lack of confidence in herself worked to Jesse's advantage. Even though she had initially disliked him, Quinn had grown comfortable around Jesse the more time he spent with her and spending it making her feel better about herself. What Jesse hadn't predicted was what she did with the Glist.

The Glist had thrown a wrench in Jesse's plans. It drove him apart from Rachel – to begin with he could barely stand her but the video had been too much for him to bear to even look at her. Jesse had let Quinn get too close as well, she had seen through his act and recognized that something was wrong with his relationship with Rachel. Thankfully, she hadn't asked too many questions, so Jesse's cover hadn't been blown. He had a feeling it might have, had Quinn let him kiss her that day in the empty classroom.

The combination of Quinn's fright and his wounded pride had left them both exposed and vulnerable. Jesse couldn't count the number of times he had replayed that scene in his head, wondering what he could have said or done instead which would have them end up kissing. He remembered the scared look in her eyes and Jesse recalled wanting her even more then.

But Jesse had finally seen Quinn at her weakest the Sunday he followed her to the local art gallery. He had been teasing her as usual, standing very closely behind her, trying to make her feel uncomfortable. He would make lewd comments about the artwork, causing Quinn to blush and shake her head as she tried to move away from him.

And then she had seen them. Quinn froze as she saw her parents enter the art gallery. Curious, Jesse had stayed put and not followed Quinn to the spot she had moved to in order to get away from him. He watched as she stood there staring at them until they finally noticed her. Her father had looked at her up and down and fixated at her belly. His face had grown an awful shade of red, nothing at all like the lovely flush Jesse enjoyed on Quinn. He had stormed out of the gallery. Quinn's mother had stood there, looking at Quinn helplessly. She had opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, as if she wanted to say something, but eventually followed her husband out.

After a few moments, Quinn calmly walked out of the other exit. Jesse followed Quinn out but kept his distance. His suspicions were confirmed correct as she burst into tears next to a tree in the garden outside the gallery. He watched her as she cried – for all he knew about the girl, he believed that she was the type who hated whenever people saw her in her most fragile state as the most he had seen before was her eyes water. As much as he loved to push her buttons, this wasn't one of those moments.

A lot of women turned splotchy red when they cried because their hearts were breaking. Quinn wasn't one of those women. She was gorgeous and Jesse knew that those kinds of tears belonged on the silver screen. He watched her until her tears subsided. Quinn was wearing her heart on her sleeve at that moment, and from being devastatingly heartbroken, Jesse watched as her expression turned angry. Good, now was a better time to approach her. An angry Quinn was someone Jesse was adept at handling. With his hands in his pockets, Jesse slowly started walking over to the tree that Quinn was leaning against.

"So how long were you going to stand there and watch me," Quinn asked when he stood a foot away. She hadn't turned to face him and was still staring out at the garden. Her chin was tilted slightly up in defiance.

"You saw me?"

"No, but I had a feeling you might still be lurking around. Leaving me alone has never been one of your better qualities."

"I have better qualities that you're willing to admit? Do tell," Jesse drawled, attempting to make light of the situation. Quinn remained silent. "So, those were the heartless bastards that raised you and left you?"

Quinn's gaze snapped to face his. "I suppose you think this is funny."

Jesse held up his hand in surrender. "Hardly. I never would have guessed they were your parents, except for the fact that they seemed to be the only ones you never snapped back at. You don't look a thing like that ugly old dude."

Quinn looked at Jesse in contemplation before looking away. "I haven't seen them since the night they kicked me out of the house. We were having a lovely dinner at home, when Finn spilled that I was expecting what he thought was his baby at the time."

"How you thought Finn Hudson was anything above a moron is beyond me."

"Finn is sweet, thoughtful and funny. Even though I nagged him daily, he worked hard to try and support me and the baby," Quinn said defensively. Then her eyes darkened. "But Finn was weak. He couldn't handle the pressure and left me the moment he found out the baby was Puck's."

Jesse chose his words carefully. "Good boys are always morons who can't always be trusted to do the right thing. They always have this tragic hero complex which they need to live up to." Quinn turned slowly to face Jesse as he inched closer to her. "However, you can always depend on the bad boys to do exactly the wrong thing at the right time." Jesse's voice had dropped to a low whisper.

"Is that a promise?" Quinn asked, her eyes challenging.

Jesse's smirk grew wider. "You can bet on it."

Jesse saw Quinn's momentary hesitation before she threw herself at him, holding his head in her hands and kissing him hard. He was a little surprised at first, and then not at all. Jesse was used to girls throwing themselves at him, especially those he had chased for weeks on end. He was starting to think that Quinn wouldn't have let him get close to her, given her condition, but here she was in his arms.

As they kissed, Jesse took to holding her close with one hand and caressing her with the other. He kissed her tenderly and then again a little more passionate than the one before that. Jesse felt a tear fall onto his cheek as Quinn's eyes watered even as she met Jesse's kisses with equal passion. He might destroy her tomorrow, but right now he was making her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and that was exactly what she needed at that moment.

He had exploited her at her weakest, something that wasn't very new to Jesse. He ignored the guilty feeling that was slowly starting to grow within him. Every time he remembered Quinn's tear stricken face, he forced himself to focus on the feel of her lips and the sound of her soft moans instead. They made out for several minutes before Jesse could no longer handle the guilty feeling and broke away slowly.

Quinn's eyes clouded with emotion. "Please, Jesse," she begged softly, trying to pull him closer to her. "I need this right now."

"I could ruin you," he reminded her, trying to dry her eyes with his thumb. "I'm the bad boy, remember?"

Quinn shook her head and scoffed. "I'm already pregnant and currently one of the most unpopular girls in McKinley High, what more could you do to possibly ruin me?" If she were honest with herself, she was in a very fragile situation and in no position to make any sound and logical decisions. But to hell with logic – she had just had one of the most emotionally draining days of her life and she was already eight months pregnant.

Jesse didn't respond to that, although several possible answers came to mind. Instead, he leaned down to kiss her lips, determined to kiss her troubles and his guilt away.

Her kisses were passionate and almost desperate, and Jesse tried to sooth her by matching her passion and stroking her hair, trying to console her. He felt her press her body up against him as best as she could, and for once, Jesse was glad that Quinn was pregnant – her belly had kept her far enough so that she couldn't feel Jesse growing hard against her. Jesse was surprised at how turned on he was by Quinn and her kisses, she had really gotten to him.

After a few more minutes, she pulled away. Quinn blinked a few times as her eyes refocused. Then she looked as guilty as he felt. "I'm sorry, I got carried away. I shouldn't have thrown myself at you, I'm so embarrassed. I'm sure you're used to it by now, but it's still no excuse. I can't –"

"Shh," Jesse interrupted, interrupting Quinn's ramblings before she said something that might hurt his ego. He pulled her back into his arms in order to hug her before she began to cry again. "It's alright, I understand. You're going through a real funk right now and needed to release all that. Can I offer you a ride home now?"

Quinn nodded. "Yes, please."

Jesse took Quinn's hand and led her to the parking lot where his car was parked. They were both quiet, both still lost in their own thoughts and reeling from what had just happened between them. So Jesse thought it fitting to turn the radio station to one of his favorite stations which played soul music. He snuck a glance at Quinn, who didn't seem to have a problem with his choice in music. In fact, she seemed to almost relax against it.

_Man thinks about a little baby girls and a baby boys / Man makes then happy 'cause man makes them toys  
And after man has made everything, everything he can / You know that man makes money to buy from other man  
This is a man's world / But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing / without a woman or a girl_

"I like that," Quinn spoke up, the first time since they had started their drive to the Puckerman's house.

"Pardon?"

"This James Brown song. This world we live in is a man's world. Men can do everything and get away with everything."

"Like knocking up chicks and not having to pay the price for it?" he guessed.

"Exactly. Men wouldn't be in that position if there weren't any unfortunate women to knock up and take the blame in the first place. Men need women to tear them down so that they can be more powerful."

"Hey," Jesse said mildly. "You forget who you're talking to. I'm a man."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "You're Jesse St. James, tell me how many women you've destroyed in order to claim your reputation as a stud."

Jesse smiled at Quinn wryly and reached out to give her hand a squeeze. "Just a few."

Quinn looked out the window, getting lost in thought. "This is my song. I think it sums up my life perfectly right about now." Soon, Jesse was pulling up his car next to the Puckerman's driveway. There was a long pause of silence.

"Jesse?"

"Yeah?"

Quinn hesitated. "Could you– maybe it would be better if— what I'm trying to say is…" Quinn trailed off, a look of helplessness in her eyes.

"Yes?" he prompted her to continue.

"Would it be possible if we both forget this ever happened?"

"This meaning today?"

"Today, last week, the week before that, all of our secret meetings." When Jesse didn't respond right away, Quinn continued on defensively, "I realize that it's not right, what we're doing. I have Puck and I guess you still sort of have Rachel. You helped me a lot, Jesse, and I'll never forget that. But I think that this had just gotten way too complicated and I can't handle complicated right now."

Jesse was quiet. This wasn't the first time a girl had asked him to pretend that what they had shared never had happened, but for some reason, it stung a little. Usually, once Jesse had gotten what he wanted from a girl, he didn't care who dumped who, so long as it happened fast. But Jesse kept remembering Quinn's tears from earlier that day and changed his mind. "Okay," he finally said.

"Thank you, Jesse," Quinn said softly.

"Anytime," he said, equally soft. He looked up at her and found her watching him. She placed a hand on his shoulder as she leaned over and kissed him briefly on his cheek. Her lips lingered over his cheek slightly longer than necessary, and Jesse wondered if Quinn was having second thoughts about giving up on what they had, whatever this complicated relationship was. However, soon after that, she unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car.

Jesse didn't even wait until she got in the house before driving off. He was pretty sure if he had stayed any longer, he might try to convince her otherwise, and he had no doubt that Ms. Corocan would have skinned him alive for not following the what they had originally planned. He needed to forget about Quinn and focus on Rachel first of all.

The following week at school, Jesse and Quinn acted like nothing happened – at all. They were complete strangers again. Ms. Corocan called Jesse back to Vocal Adrenalin after he had completed his mission with Rachel and Jesse saw Quinn only three more times after that. Once was when Vocal Adrenalin had performed in the McKinley auditorium, the second when New Directions had performed their funk number. Both times, Quinn and Jesse had caught each other staring at each other. He had tried to read her expression, but Jesse wasn't sure if it was one of gratitude or longing, or maybe he was just imagining it.

The third time Jesse saw Quinn was during Regionals, and it was only from afar.

"Thank you, young man. I can never thank you enough for giving me this chance to make things right with my Quinnie. I appreciate you tracking me down and giving me an extra ticket to her big performance. She's very lucky to have a friend like you," Judy Fabray said, shaking Jesse's hand.

Jesse gave her a half smile. "You're very welcome. Please give Quinn my regards." He directed Mrs. Fabray to her seat and turned to the stage where Quinn was singing and dancing her heart out. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, someday he would get the chance to see her again.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I do apologize for the delay in this ending. I wasn't very happy with how things just ended, but my muse had other plans for Jesse and Quinn, which are becoming a huge challenge to write out. I'll probably stick to one shots until I can finish the future fic I'm working on. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did.


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